Then out of the blue one night, he shouted -- not said, not sputtered, but shouted -- "I LOVE YOU," taking Elle, and probably himself, completely by surprise.

The words were great, but the timing was off and the delivery a tad unexpected.

But perhaps there is no right way to tell someone you love him or her. Blurting it out is as good as singing it over a candlelit dinner.

Either way, how can three words hold so much weight?

Part of me thinks those "silly love songs" are right ... Love is the answer. All you need is love. Love, love me do. It is what we seek, and it is not to be taken lightly.

The few times I have been in love I have had that urgent feeling to shout it over the phone line and write it all over my notebook. Yet saying it for the first time was hard no matter what the relationship.

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The first time a guy told me he loved me still sticks with me. We were slow dancing in his parents' house and he whispered the three words. At first, I didn't hear him, and he was forced to spit it out yet again. But hearing it in a whisper, knowing that it was hard for him to say made it so sweet and somehow more meaningful.

While it meant a lot to me then, it was really puppy love. Now, people in love get married, have kids, do grownup things. Saying "I love you" holds more weight than ever. One can't just toss those words around, and those who do can see themselves to the door.

For my friend Ken, love is forever, and it's not about wasting the words.

"You don't want to start doling that out too soon," he says. "You want to be sure."

Because once you say it, you have to keep on saying it. You can't say "I love you" on Tuesday and "How you doin'?" on Wednesday.

Love is a commitment, and that's how it should be treated. Just like I tell my family and friends I love them, I put as much stock in the phrase in a romantic relationship.

Maybe you mean it, maybe you think you mean it, but otherwise it's unfair to misuse the words, because they tend to lose their meaning. Love isn't about manipulation. You cannot play around with love.

If, as they say, the average person falls in love six times in his or her lifetime, it's likely many of us will fall in love less than that. It would be great if those few times, the other person could say it first or at the same time, but that's unlikely.

Maybe I'm putting way too much pressure on the situation. It really comes down to basic human emotions. So why not tell someone how you feel?

I had to travel to Spain to learn that one. At the time I was really falling for Alex, but I was so nervous about telling him. We were moving in that direction, and I knew he felt strongly for me, but how was I to be sure it was love?

Then I met a wise woman who set me straight.

"If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. Why wouldn't you want someone to know how you feel?" she asked.

Let me see ... because he could look at me blankly and not reciprocate. He could run screaming that I'm jumping the gun. He could say, "But we're just friends."

I could go on, but what she said really made sense. Why not? So what if he rejects me, so what if he doesn't return the favor? So I feel like an idiot for a bit, but at least I've been honest.

SURVEY How do you say, "I love you"? I just say it when I feel it. I let the other person say it first. I hold out as long as possible. I have never said this to anyone outside of my family. Results | Disclaimer

After I came home, I told him. Luckily he said the same thing. Maybe the anxiety wasn't necessary, but then again, it may be a way of keeping those emotions in check until the relationship is ready for the love stuff.

Holding back is OK for a time, especially if it helps avoid unnecessarily rushing things. But when I have to say it, I have to say it.

There really is no crucial moment then, I'm sure. We all have our own timing. Some say it the first night and do just fine. Others, like me, refrain until it's inevitable.

Still, I must admit there was one guy in my life who I never told I loved him. I was always too nervous, and wasn't sure if he felt the same. OK, I was certain he didn't feel the same way. But now it seems like a good time to tell him how I feel.

Alec Baldwin, I love you.

Now I feel much better, and it didn't hurt a bit.

Seriously though, tell him or her when you're in love. If it doesn't work out, blame me.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous 20-something who knows how to make the most of being single. Her column appears every other Thursday.